


A starved soul can become so filled with pain

by ArianaBlack



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Spoilers for Tenth Doctor Era, Tenth Doctor Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 18:37:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20980529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArianaBlack/pseuds/ArianaBlack
Summary: During a trip you hear something from a prophet that makes you worry about the Doctor. He doesn't want to talk about it, but he doesn't know how persistent you are.(Title by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, from  “Women who Run with the Wolves,” c. 1992)





	A starved soul can become so filled with pain

You were back at the TARDIS after an unexpected adventure. It was supposed to be just a sightseeing trip to a planet famous of the amazing cheesecake they make, but it turned out to be the day when the neighbor planet decided to stole the recipe and start a war. The Doctor couldn’t help himself, so you two had to save the day. You were tired and confused, because at one point a so-called prophet from the planet said something to the Doctor that you couldn’t understand. You tried to ask the Doctor what it means, but he just shook you of with saying that it was some old guys’ gibberish nonsense. But you still weren’t sure if that was right in this case. 

‘Are you okay, Y/n?’ the Doctor asked concerned. His brown coat was still in his hands, his spiky hair was messy from the running, but he still looked handsome. He was watching you this entire time. He knew there was something going on inside your humany over thinker brain.  
‘Yeah, I’m fine. I just can’t forget what that old man told you’ you admitted to him.  
‘I told you already. It is nothing to be worried about’ he tried to calm your racing mind.  
‘Still… It can’t be just a coincidence.’  
‘And why is that so?’  
‘It makes sense if you think about it, at least to me. You recently lost your previous companion with whom I know you had a close relationship. Like reeeally close’ you winked at him playfully. 

All you said was true. You started to go on trips with him not so long ago, and by the things he said to you, you immediately figured out what’s the background story. You could see that he still missed the other person, so you thought that she must be really special to him, even if he didn’t talk about her. You tried to not care about it, but slowly you started to catch feelings for him. You often saw some endless sadness in his eyes whenever he thought you weren’t watching him. It started to hurt your feelings too, but you couldn’t say anything, because that would be cruel of you. So you tried to play along, to tease him sometimes, just to make him smile, because that smile was everything to you.  
‘I don’t understand what you mean by that’ he said while we pressed some buttons on the consol. ‘Off we go now!’ The TARDIS started to move and you had to grip the nearest railing to stay on feet.

‘Where are we going, Doc? Another adventure? Cause I’m a little tired to save another planet on the same day.’  
‘I thought you liked saving people.’ You could see the sparks of excitement dying in his eyes.  
‘It’s not that I don’t like it anymore, just sometimes we need a little break. Can we go please to someplace nice and quiet?’ you asked him with the never failing puppy eyes of yours.  
‘Of course we can Y/n’ he smiled at you kindly. ‘I just need to adjust the route than.’ He pressed some other buttons, he pulled a lever and the TARDIS with some unholy noise landed on a foreign planet. ‘Come now Y/n, let’s see where are we now’ he rushed to the door excited like a kid on sugar rush.  
‘I thought you knew where we are going’ you let out a small sigh and followed him out into the open air.

The TARDIS landed in the middle of a meadow surrounded by tall green trees. You noticed some animals in the shadows, but you weren’t scared of them, because you knew that the Doctor would never bring you to a dangerous place by purpose. It was so beautiful and calming that you forget for a second why you asked him to bring you here.  
‘Do you like it? Welcome to the planet called Deva Loka. No predatory animals, no diseases, no harmful radiations and fruits all over the year. It’s brilliant!’  
‘This is really a nice planet Doctor. Thank you for bringing me here’ you kissed him on the cheek and went into the TARDIS to bring a blanket and some food. “A starved soul can become so filled with pain” you remembered the thing you heard that didn’t let you rest. The smile on your face immediately faded and you began to worry again. You didn’t want to see him suffer so you had to make sure you talk about it and make a change. You went back and the two of you lied down on the blanket. 

‘What are you thinking Doctor? Your silence is troublesome’ you asked him turning away from the blue sky and facing him.  
‘Are you happy with me? Cause if not, I can take you back home anytime you want.’ He offered you with a sad smile on his face.  
‘What is this question Doctor? Of course I am happy with you. I saw so many wonderful things since I started to travel with you. Things I couldn’t imagine until now. I love running up and down with you. I wouldn’t change this if I had a million chances. I’m lucky I met you back then. Don’t think about such thing ever again!’ you assured him and hugged him so tight like never before.  
‘Thank you Y/n.’ he hugged you back.  
‘You will never get rid of me’ you laughed at him.  
‘I’m glad that you are my companion.’ He smiled at you.

‘You know Doctor, we have to talk about what happened on the cheesecake planet eventually...’  
‘I don’t think we have anything to talk about Y/n. We were at the wrong place at wrong time. But we managed to save the day and we now have a cheesecake coupon for the rest of our life’ he laughed happily.  
‘And what about that old prophet? Are you really in pain, Doctor?’ you asked him concerned. He stopped smiling and he took your hands in his.  
‘I am fine Y/n. You don’t need to worry about me’ he pressed a light kiss on your hands. ‘I have you to keep me company’ he winked at you cheeky while scratching his neck nervously and you couldn’t help but laugh.  
‘Stop joking you alien fella’, I’m serious now! I know you had a thing with my predecessor and I know that it must’ve hurt losing her. I see, when you think I’m not watching, that you just stare at the console with those empty and painful eyes and it makes me cry. I don’t want to see you like that anymore.’ You felt a tear rolling down your red face. You unwittingly started crying which scared the Doctor because he never saw you cry.

‘You won’t, I promise you. It’s true that I used be in pain after I lost her. I continued my journey together with my sorrow, but then I found you. A spark in the dark like a star, guiding me to forgiveness. I used to bath in my guilt and pain, and act recklessly whenever I was in danger, because I didn’t care about anything. I was the lucky one to meet you Y/n. You helped me through the bad time even if you didn’t notice it.’  
He whipped your tears from your face and kissed you gently. You froze down for a couple of seconds. This whole confession took you by surprise. You never thought that it could be something other than friendship between you two. Your heart was pounding in your chest so hard you couldn’t bare it, but he kept kissing you until you kissed him back.  
‘You replaced the pain from my soul with hope, and for that I will forever be grateful.’


End file.
